“We all have to deal with something. I know that to be true. They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but I say sometimes He assumes we’re stronger than we are. Life is a challenge.” Susan Mallery
"God does not give us more than we can handle" Every time I see this written or said by anyone, anywhere, I cringe and silently say "Yeah right". My adopted son, two months shy of his 18 birthday took his life in May of 2018. His pain and inner turmoil was more than he could bear. Life had dealt him and his older siblings a bad hand. That is the honest truth and there is no sugar coating the cards he was dealt, he and his siblings spent 5 years in foster care never being truly loved and hugged by caring parents or adults. My son, Andrew was just 6 months old when he was removed from his birth parents. That was just the start. And like my son, there are countless others who attempt to end their pain through suicide, alcohol, drugs and all sorts of addictions as a means to escape, to numb or end the pain they cannot handle.
Photo by @cottonbro courtesy of pexels.com
My favorite spiritual teacher, Jacob Glass, once said..."The cemeteries, hospitals and psych wards are full of people who got more than they could handle". Having worked in hospitals off and on for years, I could have confirmed the truth of this even before my son took his life.
Two days ago I posted on Facebook about the challenges (and blessings) of this past year. A well-meaning friend responded to my post with "God doesn't give us more than we can handle". I am not going to lie, I was annoyed when I saw her post and immediately wrote "With all due respect, we may have to agree to disagree on this statement. My son was someone who got more than he could handle and there are millions around the world like him". I ended up deleting my response almost as soon as I had posted it. I didn't want to get into a dialogue about my beliefs and perspective there on FB even if many people do. I decided instead it would be perfect for my monthly blog and besides, I truly believe everyone has a right to their wrong opinion 😊 I am kidding sort of, really who am I to judge my friend's well-meaning response and possibly embarrass or upset her?
Although I am not religious and definitely do not believe in the God of most religions nor do I believe God is a he or she, I love Susan Mallery's quote "...sometimes He assumes we are stronger than we are. Life is a challenge" There could not be a truer statement than that and my son and those who have ended their pain through suicide are a testament that sometimes we do get more than we can handle. My son did not reach out for help. We did not know he was suffering in silence. He was trying to handle it alone and proved unable to.
My commitment to him and others like him has taken a shift this past year, it was unexpected and somewhat unplanned however I am feeling re-inspired and guided in our new direction. The non-profit we started in the aftermath of my son't suicide, Vida Center, our focus has shifted. Our focus will now be on finding and making accessible to teens and young adults, the clinicians, therapists, healers and others whose work genuinely helps address and heal the emotional imprints, the cellular memories, the traumas with a big T, mezzo and micro-traumas and dysfunction that many of our young people have experienced. I am hopeful of this new shift, the new direction of my life and the non-profits'. I want nothing more than to someday be able to actualize this statement for those with limited to no financial resources who are on the brink of despair and suicide, those in the depths of addictions and mind-numbing behaviors:
"Life can sometimes give us more than we can handle alone but with the help of others we can heal and persevere together".
To learn more about our non-profit work visit:
Comments
Post a Comment