Shedding The Old Life

 

"Your new life is going to cost you your old one" Author Unknown

I am one month short of officially entering the "empty nest" stage of life but I don't think I will be suffering from any of its' symptoms. Quite the contrary, I feel the opposite as my youngest son (18) soon flies the coop. I feel free, fulfilled, with a sense or purpose and direction. My son travels to Spain for a second year in one month and two months later, I will be traveling across the USA and abroad. My son will then either stay in Spain for college and soccer or come back to USA for college and soccer. Either way, my parental duties have taken a mostly financial role and it is a liberating feeling. I am looking forward to entering my New Life which will be full of work (remote), travel, purpose, service, adventure and entrepreneurial creativity.

I want to be empathic to parents/moms who really do suffer from empty nest syndrome which refers to the feelings of sadness, anxiety and loss of purpose that some parents and caregivers feel when their grown children move out of the family home. If I had lived a more traditional life as a mom and wife, I imagine there might be those feelings of loss or sadness. But that was not my way. I had lost my sense of self early in my parenting years and many years ago, I learned that being the best version of a parent I could be, entailed having more in my life than just being a dutiful mom and wife. That was not my cup of tea but I absolutely know of and admire women/moms/parents for whom it is. It is a gift and calling and one I truly admire.

A few weeks ago, I was reflecting on this new life, this somewhat nomadic life that I am embarking on. I was thinking, this is the life I dreamt of living when I was in my late teens. When I was 18, I imagined myself traveling all over the world with my girlfriends in the Peace Corps or backpacking, helping others along the way and becoming a seasoned traveler. However, poverty, fear, doubt (insecurity) and cultural constraints led instead to my staying close to home (Los Angeles) to finish college and eventually also led to my getting married at the young age of 21. Fast forward 29 years and I have come a long way, the only constraint that remains is the cultural one...urgh. But even that one is NOT keeping me from taking the leap. My significant other, my life partner of 31 years (husband for 24 years) and father of the only child I brought into this world (by choice) wanted me to wait before I began my travels but my restless, adventurous and passionate soul said "I love you but I just can't". This was not any easy decision, there has been some hurt, some sadness and a sense of loss around my decision both for him and I. I feel the cultural expectation of waiting for him and the frowning upon of going off on my own (what kind of woman does that?). Or maybe it's just my own projections, either way it's real...no empty nest syndrome but shedding of the Old Life is real. Thank goodness for wisdom and maturity gained and for having a relationship that is not perfect but is bound by love, trust, loyalty and commitment to co-parenting.  

I am ready to shed this old life of 49 years even though, it has served me well. I am ready for my new life (the big 50 and beyond) and the freedom and adventure that lies ahead.

Vida805