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Crossroad

    
"You are only scared (to make a change) because you can only measure what you stand to lose...you cannot see (or measure) what you will gain" Kyle Cease

A few years ago when I first "discovered" Kyle Cease, I could not get enough of his interviews. I used to work as a per diem mostly weekend hospital social worker and my two hour drive there and two hour drive back a couple days later were literally too short of a drive and I purposely would drive at 65 mph just to get in my dose of learning and inspiration. I remember one day as I was driving back home I was listening to another one of Kyle's interviews on Youtube (he also has his own channel) and hearing him share the above quote was exciting, it was such a validation to me and honestly, something I wish I had thought of 😊since it resonated so deeply with me. In my mind or maybe even out loud I remember thinking and/or saying "YES, exactly, on point Kyle!" I immediately recorded that quote on my notes and wrote it down in my journal as soon as I got home. I love it and it's brilliant and so is Kyle (if you've never heard him before I will put a link to an interview at the end of this post). 
Two days ago, this quote resurfaced as I was having a little bit of doubt about a decision, well more like a situation that has arisen. Once again I am at a crossroad in my life, this one was not expected nor planned. I know that often times that is life, we don't always plan for crossroads but sometimes we can get to one intentionally. That however is not the case for me this time. Despite not being intentional as to where I currently find myself, I have been here before...many times in fact. 
It seems I have never been one to be afraid of change, in fact without change in my life, I don't know where I would be...I imagine it would NOT be a good place (I am a Life Path 5-numerology-I live for change). A few weeks after I shared with my sister what lies ahead for me in the months ahead and maybe the next 2-3 years, she said "I was thinking of you and I was thinking how nervous and afraid I would be to make the changes you are making. I couldn't do it. Aren't you worried?" I said to her "Not really, I am mostly excited and looking forward to what is ahead". However if I am being honest, which I like to be, there have been more than the usual days and moments when I am filled with doubt. I realized that is likely because what I stand to lose is pretty awesome. I am currently living in a million dollar home with a million dollar view of the ocean and Santa Barbara. I live on the coveted American Riviera. I have felt like I am on vacation and truly abundant every single day that I have lived here for the past almost couple years. Granted it is not mine and I don't know how many more years I would be able to live here but giving this up was turning out to be more difficult than I anticipated. BUT in comes Kyle's quote resurfacing "all of a sudden" in my head coincidence? I think not.
Yes, what I stand to lose is pretty awesome but what I stand to gain, although as Kyle says, "cannot be measured or seen" I am betting money that it is going to be pretty darn amazing too! There will be changes, adjustments and sacrifices at this crossroad that lies in front of me now. I have gone to the left at other crossroads in my life and other times I have gone to the right. A couple of times, I have gone neither left or right and instead right down my own path. Which way I shall go this time is yet to be known. However one thing I am pretty sure of, is that whichever way I go, I will continue working on my passions, my service and contribution to humanity and plenty of content for my future blog posts...stay tuned 🙏

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