"It is a discerning and intelligent mind that can entertain thoughts without believing them." Peter Crone
As a result of COVID-19, like so many others, I placed my "Edutainment" (education and entertainment) business plans on pause as 90% of it involved social events and gatherings. In August of this year, I returned to a field, that I thought I had left behind several years ago. I returned to the field of psychotherapy, mental health now called behavioral health. I work from home a few days a week providing therapy/counseling via telehealth. I have been so fortunate to not only find a source of income during this pandemic but more importantly for me, fortunate to find a way to be home with my teen son as we navigate this new distance learning/social distancing environment. My son however does not see it quite the way I do. He asked me the other day when I finally gave up my office space and moved all my office furniture home "Are you always going to be working from home?" Lol, that will be another blog post... how our relationship has both blossomed and clashed during this pandemic.
Returning to this work, has once again reminded me how challenging it can be to get to the place that Crone mentions in his quote above. The ability to entertain our thoughts versus believing them is truly a refined skill. One that takes lots of effort and practice, something most of us fall short of achieving. However it is not because we don't want to achieve it nor because it is unachievable. I believe most of us fall short of developing this skill for several reasons. For starters, most of us are never taught the way the mind works as a result of this, most of us develop decades of negative habitual thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions. Many if not most of our limiting beliefs are not even in our conscious awareness and were born in our early childhood (0-10). Secondly, as a result of not knowing and/or understanding how our mindset/perception of life is developed, we continue with our "untrained minds" perpetuating and believing everything we have been told, shown, pressured, assimilated and/or influenced to believe about ourselves and the world. I can't tell you how many times my clients have told me "I never realized that's what I have been believing about myself all this time" or "I never realized what I was thinking was having such a big impact on my life". Thirdly, once we do realize that we can change our mindset and reprogram or discard our limiting beliefs and we learn the tools and techniques that move us towards achieving this skill, applying them is easier said than done! I know, I've been there and not going to lie, sometimes still find myself there. I wish I could say that the skill that Crone refers to always comes easily to me but it doesn't. I forget and I get caught up in believing my thoughts rather than entertaining them. Fortunately, these days I don't forget for very long that my negative thoughts are not the truth. Earlier in the year, when the realization that this pandemic was here for awhile, I caught myself thinking every now and then for about 1-2 weeks, "That's it now I will never be able to start my business...it's all over". These days, I catch myself pretty quickly and can almost always realize that I am just spinning a story based out of my fears, doubts and/or insecurities. I move to entertaining them instead, asking myself why I might be feeling this way, reassuring myself, then letting them go and replacing them with the vision of what I desire. It's a process and not something most of us learn to do quickly but it is achievable and possible. I often tell my clients "It's like learning a new language, we don't become fluent if we just go to class and listen to the teacher, in the same way you won't learn by just hearing me share the tools or techniques in our sessions". In order to become fluent we must apply and practice the tools and techniques we have learned. I also tell my clients "The hardest part sometimes is just remembering to practice. We can go the whole day without remembering to apply our mental techniques. They are so simple and yet so difficult (at first) to do".
I am touched and feel my heart swell when I hear my clients tell me "I did what you suggested (specific tool or technique) and it really helped". Very recently, one of my clients told me the tool I gave him in our first session (usually not that quickly introduced but he was in crisis mode) "helped me stay alive". It inspires me to continue working in a field that I had let go of due to the emotional/psychological heaviness of it. A couple years back I would not have been able to continue in this field due to the loss of my son. However, now I dare say, I am really enjoying working with my new clients and seeing their (our) psychological improvement and personal growth. I say "our" because one of the benefits of working in this field for me is the constant reminder to practice what I preach as well as continually researching (and applying/practicing them myself) the tools and techniques that can help us all eventually get to the place where we can be both discerning and intelligent by entertaining our thoughts, beliefs and perceptions (the negative and limiting ones) instead of believing them.
As we go into 2021 and with all the fears, concerns, challenges and problems many of us are facing, please remember "Don't believe everything you think", this could save your life. You are not a failure, you are not ruined forever, you are not alone, someone will understand you if you reach out for help, things will work out, things will be OK. May 2021 be your best year ever! Now that's a thought I strongly encourage you to believe. 💝
Knowledge + Application = Transformation
Comments
Post a Comment