Skip to main content

Our Perceptions, Our Reactions


“If you can learn how to use your mind, anything is possible” Wim Hof
Our perception(s) and our reaction(s) to anything and everything in life is the only thing we have any control of. This Thanksgiving weekend 2019, I have been reminded constantly of this very key lesson of life. It all started with my son (soon to be 16) not wanting to travel with his boring Mom to San Francisco for our annual post-Thanksgiving camping trip. I don’t think I’m boring at all but I figured that’s how he probably feels about me right now at this age. That’s my perception mind you, he hasn’t actually told me this is how he feels. He was excited about the trip until neither his girlfriend or friend’s could make it. I was a bit hurt Thanksgiving evening and had a good cry about it and thought about enticing him with a shopping spree but then I said to myself “it’s OK if he doesn’t want to go”. I was pretty proud of myself for not letting his decision make me too upset, start blaming him or his Dad or feeling like a victim. Instead I said to myself “what the heck this is an opportunity to have some alone time again”. Friday morning I packed a small bag, loaded my bike and found a nice (affordable) hotel via Air BnB and off to San Luis Obispo I came. I was driving up the beautiful Central Coast (highway 101) and was listening to a podcast of the Iceman, Wim Hof. I’ve heard him on an interview before but what I had not heard was the reason he began his journey. In this podcast (link below) he shared how his wife took her life in 1995 and left him and their four kids in utter devastation. In response (his reaction to his wife’s suicide) he began going out into nature and this allowed him to spend a lot of time listening to the quiet within (himself), a form of meditation or mindfulness for him. He shared how his wife’s suicide is the reason he does what he does. He teaches people the incredible power that our minds have, through breathing, focus/ intention and the “cold” (literally), to create what some would consider “superhuman powers”. Wim Hof however feels he is not superhuman and in fact we are all capable of doing what he has done if we focus within first.
The interview also inspired me because lately I have been allowing (in moments) my negative perceptions to get the better of me, I have had such thoughts as “I should be further along then I am with my business and this non-profit”, “We don’t even have a place to meet yet”, “How am I going to afford a place to meet if I am still not profitable from my own business and we haven’t received any grant money?” etc... After hearing him say his journey, first within-which is exactly where I am at right now- started over 25 years ago. I realized I can relax, it will happen. I don’t have to know and in fact is not my job to know how it will happen but I do have to keep working on applying and building the power within me through harnessing the higher faculties of my mind.

Victor Frankl who was one of the very few people to have survived the Nazi concentration camps, did so by the deliberate use (control) of his mind and higher faculties. In his internationally known book Man’s Search for Meaning and in his work Logo Therapy, one of his basic premises is summarized in this quote “Between stimulus and response there is a space. Between that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” So beautiful...I believe when we can be skilled at responding to both the little and big things in life with non-reaction or detachment i.e. no drama or resistance then we have truly learned self-mastery. It's a bit ironic but I seem to get better at the medium to big things in Life as I grow and learn but don't do as well as I wish with the little things. Take for example this morning, my annoyance with a crowded hotel lobby and people trying to get their free continental breakfast. When I got back to my hotel room, still annoyed, I reflected on my behavior (my reaction) to being in a small, crowded hotel lobby..not the best part of me for sure. Between stimulus and response...can be so fleeting and yet so empowering. I do have a loooong way to go but you know, I am enjoying the journey and love being inspired by people like Wim Holf and Victor Frankl and even the people that I perceived and reacted to from my less then best place 😊

Joe Rogan interviews Wim Holf:
https://youtu.be/Np0jGp6442A

Come Fly With Me:
www.vidaconsultingservices.com

Enjoying The Journey of Life:
vida805.com

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Final Blog (For Now)

  "Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change"  Jim Rohn         If there is one thing I love, take pleasure in and absolutely need in my life, is  CHANGE! My life has had so many changes and taken so many detours and twists and turns especially in the past 9 years, that I have finally come to understand and genuinely accept that for me at least, there really is no final destination and it really is all about the journey. I say this even though I still have my very concrete goals, dreams and wishes (my bucket-list of 101 goals).                 Photo courtesy of Lisa Fotios Throughout my life and lately I seem to be wondering and reflecting more on why my life has always been so vastly different from those around me (namely my family and friends), why do I need and crave change so much, is it really a good thing? I don't know the answer quite yet but over the years, I have j...

Grief Tips

"Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." Vicki Harrison                                                Photo Courtesy Pexels.com: @kate.loves.steve In 2019, I wrote these "Grief Tips for the Holidays" while working for a Hospice Agency as their Bereavement Coordinator.  The tips are a culmination of my previous work in Hospice as a Medical Social Worker and Bereavement Counselor. There the clients I served shared and taught me much about losing a spouse/partner, sibling, children (all ages) and close family and friends. The tips also incorporate what I learned through my own losses. It's hard to believe that 2022 is just around the corner and we are still reeling from the effects of COVID-19. On top of the expected and unexpected deaths we face ...

The Rubber Hits the Road

“Life's challenges can either make you or break you. Let them make you ". Billy Cox I wrote in a prior blog post that enjoying the journey of Life entails several things including, "...dealing with obstacles, struggles, challenges, losses and curve balls as they come but not letting them keep us down..."  Back in April of 2018, when I started my blog post and wrote those words, when I was getting my new business project Vida805 off the ground and was getting ready to self-publish my book, my Life changed drastically. That's an understatement, it was more like a major curve ball came my way. I was truly blindsided by Life's circumstances. I am not sure if I am ready to process all of what happened and how it has affected my life and the lives of so many other people. Not because I am not ready to disclose the details, I have been open about it (there was no way not to be) with family, friends and acquaintances but more so because I am still processing i...