Vida Guide to Successful Living

 “When life throws you a rainy day, play in the puddles” Pooh Bear I am a couple months away from playing in the puddles of yet another rainy year (2021) figuratively speaking. Fortunately, my last rainy year, more like storm was in 2018, so it has been a minute since I’d seen the rain. In early 2023, I will officially become a traveling therapist, a few months behind schedule but being I have a very flexible schedule these days it’s not a big deal at all, it was just my antsy pants that wanted it to be sooner. I will be working on my existing business (psychotherapy) by doing a deep deep dive into trainings and certifications that will allow me to be of utmost service to the clients I serve. I will also be contributing to the nonprofit I run by researching alternative treatments/modalities across the US and possibly the world. I will be working on building my new business which entails a certain level of social advocacy for young men and I will be traveling and having fun along th...

“We all have to deal with something. I know that to be true. They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but I say sometimes He assumes we’re stronger than we are. Life is a challenge.” Susan Mallery "God does not give us more than we can handle" Every time I see this written or said by anyone, anywhere, I cringe and silently say "Yeah right". My adopted son, two months shy of his 18 birthday took his life in May of 2018. His pain and inner turmoil was more than he could bear. Life had dealt him and his older siblings a bad hand. That is the honest truth and there is no sugar coating the cards he was dealt, he and his siblings spent 5 years in foster care never being truly loved and hugged by caring parents or adults. My son, Andrew was just 6 months old when he was removed from his birth parents. That was just the start. And like my son, there are countless others who attempt to end their pain through suicide, alcohol, drugs and all sorts of addictions as ...

  " Your new life is going to cost you your old one" Author Unknown I am one month short of officially entering the "empty nest" stage of life but I don't think I will be suffering from any of its' symptoms. Quite the contrary, I feel the opposite as my youngest son (18) soon flies the coop. I feel free, fulfilled, with a sense or purpose and direction. My son travels to Spain for a second year in one month and two months later, I will be traveling across the USA and abroad. My son will then either stay in Spain for college and soccer or come back to USA for college and soccer. Either way, my parental duties have taken a mostly financial role and it is a liberating feeling. I am looking forward to entering my New Life which will be full of work (remote), travel, purpose, service, adventure and entrepreneurial creativity. I want to be empathic to parents/moms who really do suffer from empty nest syndrome which refers to the feelings of sadness, anxiety and l...

  "Happiness comes from progress, unhappiness comes from decline ” Arthur Brooks As I approach a significant milestone year in my life, I am experiencing a sense of peace and acceptance around the fact that I have yet to achieve my life's biggest goals and dreams. I think that's the most ironic statement I have ever written! Peace around not yet achieving my Life goals? It's true and it's a liberating feeling considering that just 7 years ago, the reality of not having reached these goals caused me angst and at times a sense of hopelessness and despair. Because of my lifelong interest and commitment to personal growth, I never stayed in these negative states for long but underneath, there remained a restlessness about it. I can’t say I had anything near peace or acceptance at being seemingly nowhere near my biggest dreams.  So what gives?  Have I given up? Not at all. In fact, I am more confident than ever that I will achieve my goals and dreams, unless of course ...

"The myth of normal in an insane culture" inspired by  Dr. Gabor Mate A couple years ago I was listening to one of Dr Gabor Mate's interview on Youtube and he was sharing about the book he was working on, finishing up. If I remember correctly, he said the book would be titled "The myth of normal in an insane culture" or something like that.  When he  explained the reasons for the title, I thought, "Man he really gets it and society (US) really is sick-insane in so many ways". Today that interview came back to mind as I thought about what to write about for this blog post given the shootings and deaths that have occurred in the USA in the past two weeks alone . Not to mention, the many shootings and resulting deaths and injuries that don't get any news coverage at all. I googled to see if Dr. Mate's book was out and it is. Maybe I misheard his title or maybe his publishers said you don't want to piss or offend people with that title, alludin...

     "You are only scared (to make a change) because you can only measure what you stand to lose...you cannot see (or measure) what you will gain" Kyle Cease A few years ago when I first "discovered" Kyle Cease, I could not get enough of his interviews. I used to work as a per diem mostly weekend hospital social worker and my two hour drive there and two hour drive back a couple days later were literally too short of a drive and I purposely would drive at 65 mph just to get in my dose of learning and inspiration. I remember one day as I was driving back home I was listening to another one of Kyle's interviews on Youtube (he also has his own channel) and hearing him share the above quote was exciting, it was such a validation to me and honestly, something I wish I had thought of 😊since it resonated so deeply with me. In my mind or maybe even out loud I remember thinking and/or saying "YES, exactly, on point Kyle!" I immediately recorded that quote on m...

  "When you have a clear mind you have everything" Jacob Glass 2022 and Beyond New Year's Goal: Inner Peace Chapter one of my self-published book is titled a Clear Mind, inspired by one of Jacob Glass' lectures, he's one of my favorite spiritual teachers. The premise of the chapter is that we can obtain a clear mind via having a calm mind AND a disciplined mind . In my opinion a calm mind is developed by a consistent (preferably a formal) meditation practice and a disciplined mind is developed through mind management i.e. training our unruly mind (thoughts/beliefs/perceptions). I would say a clear mind is equivalent to having true inner peace. The the end of 2019 marked inner peace as a genuine and common  feeling for me. Of course I have days and moments when I experience anything but inner peace but I can happily report most of the time I feel quite content...inside even if things on the outside are messy... it's a beautiful thing. However, i t's been a ...